Sports Day, Mission Accomplished

I’ve come to the conclusion that being a suit doesn’t look like very much fun. Talking to them isn’t much fun either. Oh, foreigner I’ve met before, must go greet and show the other suits that I do not fear English! Foreigner seeking detection on…

My school had their Sports Day and I was pretty blown away by the scale of it. It was very well planned and implemented. And of course, the suits came, as befits their status. I re-met the Dogye Elementary principal, the Samcheok coordinator, and was ignored by my former VP (thankfully!).

What is Sports Day? Pretty much what it sounds like. A giant festival dedicated to the darling little munchkins’ physical prowess. As I mentioned in a previous post, they have been practicing for this for weeks!

I, only the other hand, was pretty clueless as I was officially given the job of helping Big Sister of keeping score. Great, I have a job! Thanks for actually remembering me for once... Wait, how are we scoring this again? I learned that not all Asians are good at math… although it was the white girl who was blamed for the mistakes by the kids. Even the silly white person knows you don't get minus points... that was not my fault!

I also had a lot of other jobs, ranging from finish line holder to stand in parent hula hooper. The latter I made a very poor showing of. In my defense, I haven’t practiced with a hula hoop in about twenty years! I can barely keep the hoop up without also jumping from foot to foot. They should have made me do something with running or the jump rope. Even so, while I was attempting to help out my mini partner, some wonderful pictures were taken. There’s a reason I never go to the school’s website. Who knows what kinds of horrible pictures of me are on there! The sweet icing on the humiliation cake, considering EVERYONE was watching me, was one of my little first graders coming up with a big smile and a thumbs up, “Very good job teacher!” Well, that and rolling the hula hoop AT one of my co-workers; that was nice too.

While there were plenty of laughs, whoops, and cheers, I’d have to say the best event was the parent’s relay. Not the actual running one, which was fun too, but the one involving a bright neon orange hula hoop with sparkly purple pompoms staked to the ground. Seemed like it was easy enough and the teachers even modeled it for the parents… what no one took into account was the first two were in a “friendly” rivalry involving a little too much testosterone. The result is when the cap gun banged, the relay turned into a wrestling match over the hula hoop, where one guy stuffed himself in one way and the other guy stuffed himself in the other. Two adult men do NOT fit through a hula hoop at the same time! It took several minutes and whistle blows to get them untangled. Meanwhile, my co-worker and I are howling with laughter and he says to me, “This is very dangerous game!” I replied, “Only with ajosshis! [married middle age men].” Once they finally got it sorted out, I realized why the hoop was staked to the ground… most of the plump little ajummas were bound and determined to make the other team run across the court to retrieve the hoop. When my co-workers were sprinting, I was giggling away. The hazards of having children.

Aside from the entertainment factor, I was really happy to see such a big and enthusiastic turn out of parents. Sometimes it’s hard to see the adults behind the kids that I teach every day. A few I knew from the neighborhood, but a lot of them work odd hours or don’t go out when I’m out and about. It was nice to see them taking an interest in the kids’ development, taking pictures and cheering their little ones on or participating in the events. Granted, some parents didn’t come, and there were some sullen children who no doubt were jealous (including my little partner for the hula hoop contest; I was apparently not as good as the real thing).

When we broke for lunch, the families ate outside together with a picnic-like atmosphere, while I got to go in with… the suits. Joy. I actually stuck by the nurse and science teacher (nothing unusual there).

Overall, it was a fantastic day. The weather was perfect, no one was injured except this insisted old guy who I pretended not to understand, and all the kids were happy, all the staff was happy, and all the parents were happy. And I was happy; I managed to avoid acquiring more toothpaste.

You thought I was kidding about the recycling sorting event, didn't you? Well, I wasn't. I'm not clever enough to make the kind of stuff up!

My shyest student ecstatic and SHINNING for once... she was so surprised :D She won all her races!

The nurse wanted to be prepared...

M.S. winning the race by incapacitating his competition... he's "fluttering" and she's laughing too hard to be "quick like a bunny!" That kid seriously has no shame, just like his mother.

The first grade minions again. Dancing "The Twist" in really cute outfits.

Mr. Can't Wait: "Hi Erinn Teacher!"

How Sports Day has made my life Infinitely Better

1.     I get to watch the Korean teachers herd cats- er, students.

A.     Basically, take 80-ish students and throw them outside with a ton of distractions. Then try to make them do things like line up and sit down and run in sync… It’s inevitable that SOMEONE isn’t paying attention- statistically I think it’d be about 50% or 40 students the first time around. Then there’re the ones that ARE paying attention but had no idea what is going on and flail with random motions they think might be acceptable to the casual [teacher] observer, composed mainly of enthusiastic grades 1-3. This would fall at around 25%. Then there are the kids paying attention and know what’s going on, but they are shy or stuck up or lazy, so they put out the least amount of effort possible to get by. I’d say that’s about 5%-ish, composed of mainly 6^th grade ‘too cool for school’ types. The remaining percent, whatever that is, are on the ball and looking good; however, their efforts are overshadowed by the other 80% of students, making them jaded and annoyed.

The Result

*Rinse and repeat… EVERY DAY for three weeks… equals an endless reminder that Korean teachers can’t get cooperation from students using instructions in Korean. So I shouldn’t feel bad the students tune out my English instructions. A cheap, easy ego boost that takes a mere 5 minutes out of my day. Plus it’s funny as hell.*

2.     And to be totally creepy about this, I get to watch the kids dance.

A.     Let me give you a little back story, I love to watch little kids dance. It’s all because of my sister. After going to soooo many freakshows- er, dance recitals, and laughing my guts out at hapless, victimized little five year olds, I have fond memories. So watching my students, who I know personally, windmill their arms and kicking up their heels is hilarious.

B.     I especially enjoy watching Grade 1 and 2. Mostly because they’re adorable and enthusiastic and clueless, but more because the TEACHERS have to dance too! It really warms my heart to see the bossy, obnixous 2^nd grade teacher, who I have lovely nick named “Bossy Bessy” due to her unfortunate gum smacking habit, whip out dance moves to “The Twist.” It further tickles me that I’m not the only one who feels that way, judging by the laugher from the office window!

The Result

I get to laugh my butt off from the safety of the second story window and harass the students about it. Great stress relief and revenge against all those little snotmonsters who disrupt my classes.

3.     Cancelled classes – no explanation needed.

4.     Tired students

A.     After running and sorting huge piles of recyclables (yes, this was an exercise they used – they take recycling very serious here!), dancing to a really annoying song, doing suicide drill–esque exercises, and standing in the sun, the kids just don’t have the usual energy to act like permanently insane monkeys.

The Result

Compliant students who are GRATEFUL to do something as mindnumbing boring as listen and repeat. Or arts and crafts, which for some reason, most of them scorn.

After all, who wouldn't want to see THIS in sparkly, cute costumes dancing "The Twist"?

Super attractive, right?