You know, when I was a kid, summer camp meant fun things. Playing on the lake, hiking in the woods, playing Truth or Dare in cabins. Koreans seem very fond of summer camp too. But in typical education-obsessed style, Korea thinks camps are serious business. English camp, church camp, math camp, science camp, music camp… there is no end of camps.
But, the camps in question at the moment are English camps, of course. We shall no discuss the joy of producing 9 fully detailed 80 minute lesson plans that produce less inane English than the wonderful books we use throughout the year. And by less inane I mean bubble wrap. Yes, it is that bad.
Anyway, camp is such a joyful event. And I doubled my pleasure and doubled my fun.
My school was split between four teachers. Who knows how much English was actually spoken in the Korean teachers’ classes. Possibly none, other than the songs I provided. Camp itself wasn’t too bad. I was told the first day that “your students look too happy” as they were leaving my class for lunch. Are they supposed to look sober and depressed? I would be if I were them. Summer vacation, what summer vacation?
I did art class and science class. My co-teacher, to my amusement, took singing and dancing. Singing being “Doe a Deer” and dancing being “The ChaCha Slide.” Sadly I only heard the classes; I’m sure the visuals were stunning. The kids did chatter a lot about The Slide. The male Korean teachers taught… P.E. I left that up to them, so I’m not really sure what they taught.
The most fun, of course, was cooking. Now tell me this isn’t a nightmare… 60 some kids ranging from 9-12 with open flame burners. But they were really quite good. That might be because I warned them that if they didn’t follow my directions EXACTLY that their chocolate would taste nasty, haha. The “fudge” turned out well enough considering we didn’t have enough condensed milk and I had to fudge the fudge recipe a bit. We had a fun lunch with homemade orange juice (with sugar added? Why, I don’t know…), chalk-like fudge, and PBJs. The PBJs amused me the most. I could not convince the kids that peanut butter and jelly should go TOGETHER. They were absolutely horrified and refused to make them like that even after I assured them American students loved it. I finally gave a few kids a bite of my sandwich to convince them (after all, they weren’t wasting THEIR bread on such an outlandish, strange sandwich). Can I add these are the people who eat corn on pizza and love kimchi morning, noon, and night.
What killed me was the “Golden Bell” game we had all the students played that reviewed the English “learned” during the camp. How did they think 3rd graders were supposed to compete with 6th graders? And this question killed me: What do you make with oranges, sugar, and water? My 4th grade know it all was all but squealing orange juice at me (in my mind the correct answer) and I helped him spell it. When the answer was revealed he was mortified. “Oranade.” WTF is Oranade? I could not convince the kid that his answer was right; he kept trying to turn in his board. Finally one of the Korean teachers told him it was okay and he was satisfied. Likewise, they x’d out some kids that had a perfectly acceptable answer that wasn’t the one on the screen. Grr, that drives me crazy! Language can’t be learned in absolutes. You have to be flexible. There’s so many different ways to say something in English but they learn it like a formula.
But they’re damn good at math, right?
(Hello, how are you?) + [I’m fine thank you, and you?] = conversation via Korean textbook
(Hi, how are you?) + [I’m (insert one of a dozen feelings here). How are you?] = Erinn approved method.
The poor kids had math camp after English camp. Looked incredibly tedious and boring. I was more than happy to retreat clutching my gifted cream bread and “ice cream.” I don’t think ice cream should be the color of my nail polish. I believe it was “bubble gum” flavor.
Meanwhile, I had been asked to help with camp at the other elementary school in town. I said yes without really thinking about it. I really dislike “deskwarming” aka my butt in a chair for 8 hours straight by myself in the office. And I was curious about camp. Extra funds are always appreciated as well.
Well, we all know what a great friend Murphy is to me. My co-teacher tells me the school can’t pay me and did I still want to do it? I stared at her incredulously. They wanted me to work for free? After offering about $500? Stupid bureaucratic bullshit.
I said yes anyway. Just a tiny bit of spite in there because I know my school is like a possessive 5 year old and are loathe to lend me out. But mostly it was for the ice skating… about 80% for the ice skating.
Their camp was much easier than mine. I went there after my summer school and led “Team America” to victory. Haha, right. Well, I did chat with the kids and herd them along. After wrangling 1st and 2nd graders earlier in the morning, the camp kids were as compliant as a herd of well-trained doves… if doves traveled in herds and had the physical ability to speak English. Even the strange little boy that hid in the corner and refused to speak to anyone.
I felt sufficiently paid in stimulation and ice cream/slushie/sandwiches.
The best part of camp was at the restaurant when we were eating some kind of creamed vegetable or other. Franchesca said corn, but I think it may have been spuds. Regardless, the kids were making a racket banging the sides of their bowls with their spoons. Mortified, the Korean teacher got up and told them to pretend they were from Seoul not from Dogye. Ouch.
They were even more clumsy on the ice than they were with their table manners. Thump, thunk, crash. I spent a lot of time peeling children off the ice and asking if they were okay. Including super cute kids that were not students and just gaped at me like “OMG, the white alien touched me! She’s speaking to me in tongues. What do I do? What do I do?” Skate faster, skate faster, crash.
I did a crash of my own when my blade caught on a plastic knob sticking out of the ice. It was like the water balloon fight all over again, except I flew into my knee and elbow instead of doing a faceplant.
Aren't they darling?
Vacation was never so well deserved. There are days where I really miss retail!
